Don't ask me again when I will stop!

I love to breastfeed. Laura loves to breastfeed. It is convenient. It is relaxing. We have fought through a clogged duct and two nursing strikes to get where we are today. Are those not good enough reasons to continue? As Laura gets older and I continue to nurse her in front of people I am constantly getting asked "how long will you continue nursing her?" It isn't really negative like they are saying what I am doing is gross -- yet. Of course I am worried for that day! (Although I don't know if you count the story of the "friend" who I travelled with -- you know, the guy who changed his status on Facebook to "I can't wait until Melisa Jeffs is done breastfeeding".  They have a word for that. It's spelled d.o.u.c.h.e.)
I even find myself justifying to these people -- usually my friends --  why I will continue until SHE wants to wean. Stating medical evidence promoting extended breastfeeding and reciting the minimum length of time each health organization recommends to nurse to. So here you are, save your questions and read this. But please ask more questions if you still feel the need. I am all about educating the best I can on the topic to help our society understand it more.

Benefits

• Nutrition -- Yes, there are still vitamins, fats, and proteins. If you are still nursing often you don't even need to give cows milk as breast milk has an even higher fat content.
• Health -- those antibodies that Laura has been getting to keep her nice and healthy will continue to do the same. As soon as my body detects a virus it creates antibodies in my milk which protects her from that virus. I think the amount of times her daddy and I have had colds can prove that really does work. It also reduces her chances of obesity, diabetes, allergies, asthma and childhood cancers! Speaking of cancers I can do this for a totally selfish reason as the longer I nurse the less chance I have of getting breast, ovarian, and uterine cancers.
• Intelligence -- yep, it's even said to give a higher IQ! This will be hard to prove right as she is already going to be smarter than her daddy anyway.
• Financial -- well it has already saved us hundreds of dollars, but going forward it can continue to do the same! If you consider medical bills as well, all you tax payers can thank me for lowering medical costs.

Who says so?

• Health Canada recommends "Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life .... with continued breastfeeding for up to two years and beyond." 
• The World Health Organization recommends "...Infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health. Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond."
• UNICEF "...breastfeed exclusively for the first six months and to continue to breastfeed for two years or more with age appropriate, responsive complementary feeding."

OK you get the point I am sure. I hope you learned a little something!

If you are still breastfeeding why will you continue or why have you?

2 years in 10 points.

Jake and I have just celebrated being together for two years. It's been a really good two years too. But a lot has happened and changed for both of us, so thankfully we have both changed together. But here they are -- The progression of my life changing.

1. I ran away from the city to live and work on the Sunshine Coast where it takes a ferry ride and an hour and a half drive to come find me. Where my cell phone won't work, and the only Internet you get is in the one pub. Where the only thing you have to avoid while driving are the elk. Where you can kayak at night in the brightest phosphorescence on the north pacific and wake up to eagles and seals fishing.Where most nights are spent around a lakeside fire drinking beer or wine.
2. While in this remote location I met my now amazing "significant other" while he was on holiday in his home town after just finishing his university degree.
3. I go back to the city when the summer is over to finish my certificate in Travel and Tourism, and Jake decides to move back to the coast and work for his favorite childhood boss in a dream position. We continue a long distance relationship. 
4. We go to Mexico to see his sister get married.
5. While finishing my certificate I work in a nice restaurant with very bad owners. 
6. I finish my certificate in Travel and Tourism with straight A's! I have now decided this is the right direction for me but to get where I want to go I need to get my degree in Anthropology with a minor in Sustainable Tourism. I apply for school.
7. The same week I finish Travel and Tourism, I quit my job, apply for a seasonal pub job on the Sunshine Coast and move in with Jake. I guess I can add to that same week -- we conceive our beautiful daughter.
8. After a summer working pregnant in the pub, we decide to spend the winter/Laura's due date living with my parents in the city for when Laura is born.
9. Most important day of my life happens. Our beautiful Laura Olivia is born on boxing day! December 26/09! And Jake and I decide to move to the city.Where he will be lucky to find a great company to work for.
10. My mind changes focus from Sustainable Tourism to pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and all the amazing things that parenting brings and I become an advocate. Advocacy meets business. And that is another post altogether. 

So looking back for me it's been a pretty intense two years. And considering for two years before that I was completely nomadic travelling the world, the last 4 years have changed my whole person completely. And for two years before that... I can really go on and on as I am sure each two year increment has made me someone new.

Have the past few years brought lots of change in your life?

I have things to say. I promise.

Just a short note to say I am still here, and I have been thinking of lots of great things to talk about, but have not been using my blogging time wisely. I have just had some other things taking up space in my mind and time:

My very handsome nephew was born on Laura's half birthday (26/06/10)! That was a big deal of course. I actually dragged Laura to the hospital to be there for his arrival, but since my machine of a SIL was in labour for three days (you heard that correct), in the *short* 6 hours we were there for, we missed it. But Laura was an angel! How many 6 month old babies can sit in a waiting room for 6 hours minus a few trips outside? Anyway, Andrew David is a beautiful little man and many, many family members are very excited for his arrival -- especially his cousin who can now speak to him outside the womb. 

Also, I hit my 6 month mark of *exclusively* breastfeeding, which means Laura has started solids. I have been busy making my own organic baby food -- so fun! She doesn't seem too interested at the moment, but we will continue trying. So I will leave you with my little yammy girl.

Doulas should be as common as epidural.

The word doula has been on my mind all week for a few reasons; I have been trying to get together with my Doula turned very good friend all week who will also be attending my SIL's (40 + 3 pregnant today) birth. My other SIL announced she is pregnant so of course I had to push on her the importance of a Doula. I will be attending Doula Services Association of BC's doula information session Meet the Doula Day on Saturday as a sort of in person testimonial for Maria. OK, OK, OK so there are four great reasons there that the word Doula has been on my mind all week. But what really got me thinking about writing this post is this blog post about a ridiculous letter to patients at a Ohio hospital to ban Doulas and birth plans. I will also write a post on the importance birth plans at some point but the importance of a Doula deserves a post on just that.

Before I go any further I should mention that before I was pregnant I had never heard of a Doula. Maria's services were a shower gift for Jake and I from my sister Adrienne. I am positive that without this generous and valuable gift we would not have chosen to go with a Doula.

I am sure some of you are sitting there saying out-loud to your computer "OK, Melisa. I have now heard of a Doula, but what do they do that is so valuable to the birth experience?" Well, here we go!

A birth doula is a trained and experienced labour support. She will attend your birth along with any other support person you have with you or could also be your primary labour support. She will support you emotionally, physically, and also help you make informed decisions that the medical professionals may throw in the mix. Your Doula will help you achieve the birth experience you and your partner desire by helping you prepare and carry out your birth plan. Unlike your midwife, doctor, or OB who are there intermittently to ensure your baby and your own health and safety, your Doula will offer you continuous support throughout labour and delivery and help with a successful start at breastfeeding.

Studies have shown that having a birth doula present during birth, labour is shorter with less interventions, and breastfeeding rates are higher. In fact, your chance of cesarean section is decreased by 50%! That is huge! Even requests to have an epidural are reduced by 60%, forceps delivery reduced by 40%, and use of oxytocin reduced by 40%. Aren't those numbers alone benefit enough for you to get on DONA and check out a Doula near you?

Now to choose a Doula. It's kind of like dating. You are looking for a person with similar philosophies as you, who supports the plans you have, and most importantly who you get along with on a personal and professional level. This person will see you at the most intimate time of your life! Choose wisely. If any of you have read my birth story you will know my Doula was amazing at my birth and perfect for me. I can't say she fell out of the sky, but she practically did. We called and emailed about 20 doulas but since I was due so close to Christmas, many were unavailable. We had 3 or 4 interviews lined up of which, Maria was the first of them we met. We chose a coffee shop in East Vancouver as neutral ground. On leaving, Jake and I immediately begun singing "Maria, Mariaaaaaa...." (Santana in case you were wondering). Anyway, we knew she was "the one". We met with the next doula we had to interview, but it only confirmed that Maria was it. I will just say a big pre-requisite in my opinion is children of their own. 

So after finding her what did she do for us? Before the birth she met with us to discuss our birth plan, philosophies, what she will provide in terms of support, and basically to meet and get to know each other a lot better. When I went into labour, she was the first person we called. She would have come to our place to help me through early labour, but we had her meet us at the hospital as it seemed things were happening quickly. At the hospital she was amazing. Feeding me ice-chips, keeping me hydrated, running the bath, massaging me when needed, yet she still gave room for Jake to give me the support I needed from him. She questioned the nurses who came to take blood from me for no good reason, she told me what birthing positions could be helpful, she even helped turn the baby!! She stayed after the birth until Laura was latched on and feeding. I know she would never take credit herself for my dream labour and delivery but I will say she was a wonderful addition to my support team -- Jake, my mom, and Maria. 

Let me end by saying although costly, a Doula is worth every penny. Some doulas work on a sliding scale, or you can find a student doula for little to no cost. But I would pay over and over.

la·bor (lbr) n. 1. a. Physical or mental exertion, especially when difficult or exhausting; work

Before I go any further with my blog I should post Laura's birth story so when I start to get into my discussions or rants about natural (or lack of) childbirth this will be here for reference.

Laura Olivia
Dec. 26th, 09
8:19 am
7 lbs 11 oz

After weeks of irregular contractions I was pretty hesitant to believe that they were real. After a very busy Christmas day, we arrived home from a family dinner at 11:00 pm. At 11:40, contractions began.

Jake and I began timing on contraction master. They quickly became 4 minutes apart so I decided to take a bath in case it was false labour again and that might calm them down. As contractions quickly doubled to 2 minutes, we decided that this was it and we should get going.

By 1:00 am we had everything and everyone and at 1 minute between contractions were on our way to the hospital to meet our doula (Maria) and midwife (who was already at the hospital at another labour). I was examined at 1:30 and was thinned and 4 cm dilated.

We were admitted quickly and we set our room up. Dimmed lights, LCD candles, sheets on the floor. I went back and forth between the bath and the birthing ball with Jake, Maria and my mom there to support me, keep me hydrated, massage me, etc. As time went on I got louder and louder as my contractions became more intense. I never thought I would be one to moan and grunt as a coping method, but it worked. My contractions were pretty much on top of each other. I would get about 3 that overlapped, and then I would get a minute between them. It was very, very intense.
At 5:30 am I was begging to be checked again. I was 8 cm dilated and that made me pretty relieved but within an hour I felt the urge to push and was once again begging to be checked. I hadn't progressed! Turns out my baby was still turned a little causing some back labour. My midwife actually performed a sterile water injection into my back and despite how painful it was to receive, I was amazed at the relief it gave me!

I was up on the bed from being checked and for some reason decided I couldn't get off. Maria had a method (rebozo) of turning the baby which she could only do between contractions so it was very hard as there wasn't much time. It involved her getting above me while I was kneeling on the birthing ball (still on the bed, what a sight!!) with a scarf that she covered my belly with and had an end in each hand. She would then wiggle it and end with a tug in the same direction the were trying to turn the baby. This was the worst part of my entire labour. Not only was I trying not to push, but then Maria was doing her work between contractions and it wasn't a nice feeling.

At about 7:40 I was checked again and I was 9cm. I was crying I was so disappointed. I had been trying sooo hard not to push for nearly 2 hours I didn't know if I could do it anymore! Then my midwife said I could push if I felt I needed to and it might help dilate that extra cm. I just kept saying "OMG I can push" and this time crying out of joy!
I spent about 35 minutes pushing on the bed, where at some point my water broke. I was on my hands and knees and then everyone suggested I head to the floor to squat as gravity would work with me. I wasn't capable of making any choices myself so I just went where they told me to. Jake sat in a chair and I squatted between his legs to support me. Everything happened so quickly at this point. She crowned right away and as soon as her head popped out, she slid right out after. The euphoria you experience that moment your baby comes into the world is indescribable
She was immediately put to my chest in my arms and it was the best feeling in the world! Jake and I could both hold her together. We didn't even think to check her gender until a few minutes and I was shocked to see a little girl!

I got in bed and put her to my chest so she could root around and find my breast. She was soo alert as everything was so natural. She took to feeding right away.

I just laid there with Jake admiring our perfect little girl as the OB was in to stitch me up as I had a complicated tear that the midwife didn't want to mess up. I actually tore forward up to my urethra so they had to put in a catheter so that it wouldn't close over the urethra.

We had lots of visitors right away as an excited Grandpa, 3 aunties, and 3 uncles waited patiently in the waiting room all night long getting various updates and making copious amounts of midnight phone calls.
We were home by 9 pm and finally got to cuddle together with the 3 of us in bed absolutely exhausted.

I feel soo amazing and powerful for being able to do what I did with no drugs or medical interventions. Our midwife also mentioned at a at home check-up that during the delivery the nurses were a little freaked out that I was delivering while squatting. That amazed me!! It was so perfect and natural!

Back again?

So yes it has been months since I have written anything. The main reason is because I have begun actually reading other mommy bloggers who are very well known and well read and feel that they say exactly what I want to, only much better -- making my voice inadequate. But what I have come to realize is we have much different audiences!

With recent events and a sort of baby boom around me, I feel all my gained knowledge and opinions on certain matters within the pregnancy, labour, birth, and post-partum should not stay trapped! Especially when I want to advocate such important and contreversial practices (i.e. Breastfeeding, birthing with-in your rights, boycotting Nestle etc.) And to be honest the people who I want to reach out to will probably never have time to read The Feminist Breeder or PhD in Parenting like I have.

So to my friends and family who I hope can get anything out of what I have to say please read, comment, ask questions of topics, whatever! Just give me a reason to not neglect my blog again for another 3 months.

Melisa OUT!

Pregnancy top 10's. Awesome and the Ugly

OK so I think a good way to give an idea of my pregnancy is to give my top 10 good and bad things about me being pregnant.


Top 10 reasons I love being Preggo (not in any particular order of favorites)

1. Being able to feel her kicking, doing summer saults and just flat out squirming made me feel like I was never alone. Especially cool when I could let someone feel or see the movements.
2. Not feeling guilty for eating TWO breakfasts when we went out.
3. There was a dramatic increase in my tips at the pub.
4. It was a great reason to avoid men hitting on me at the pub (and despite the belly, they still did)
5. My tea collection increased ten-fold.
6. While working I always had people offer to carry heavy or even light items. And I rarely needed to change a keg!
7.  Having an exscuse to stay in bed until noon or spend the day reading.  
8. While most women would figuratively say they had nothing to wear, I literally had nothing to wear -- so I got to go shopping! Lots!
9. Picking a name that is so important because you know it will be labeled to this being for the rest of their life!
10. I had an actual reason to make sure I was healthier than I had ever been in my life.

Top 10 reasons I hated being pregnant!

1. No coffee
2. Not being able to test new beers or wines when we got new ones at the pub.
3. Not being able to fit my regular clothes.
4. Not being able to put on own my socks!
5. Not being able to sleep on my back.
6. Needing help just to get out of bed without pulling a muscle.
7. Hearing the question "how are you feeling" every 10 minutes.
8. Everyone and their extended relatives trying to offload their crap on you.
9. Not being able to feel my ribs for 3 months.
10. The final waiting game.. made worse by going overdue!

I am sure there were some decent things I left off those lists. If you are reading this, comment some of your favorite or most hated things about being pregnant!